You want to know what sucks big time? When your mom brain put the wrong dang gas into the car which prompted a whole slew of things which ultimately lead to the death of your totally paid off car engine… on day three of Whole30 & when I am a month away from taking a pay-cut so that I can work full time and do nursing school full time. Whew, longest sentence e-v-e-r. Want to know what else sucks? I. Freaking. Loved. That. Car. My husband and I were just talking on our way home from Thanksgiving about how this was my favorite car yet & about how I was going to run it into the stinking ground. Maybe pass it down to my stepson in three years. This isn’t exactly in my budget or my plan. I have been living very comfortably in the land of no car payments & this isn’t exactly something that I had on my radar for today. So what happens when life doesn’t go as planned like this & my neatly thought out plans get sabotaged?
I lose it.
For a hot second.
Get all of the tears out & have myself a good ugly cry. Thankfully when my husband called to tell me the news he was unbeknownst to me also driving 30 minutes home just to give me one massive hug before turning around and going back to work all because he knew I needed it. What a guy. But as soon as I’m done ugly crying & settle down I immediately start taking mental inventory of all of the chocolate in the house. All of it. Where is the chocolate when I neeeeeeeed it? Is my not so secret stash still in the jar labeled “chocolate chips” on the kitchen counter? What about the wine? Oh, the wine… . Screw it. I’m not making dinner tonight. Let’s get the kids in the car & get Chinese take out instead. Do you see how that all spiraled in a matter of .2 seconds?
But you know what? We can’t just lose our minds every time something doesn’t go the way that we had meticulously thought out and planned. Because guess what? It’s called life & as I’m sure you are well aware by now that crap happens all of the time. Just because I’m embarrassingly sad over having to get rid of my car & having to start looking for a new one does not mean that I get to abandon ship on my goals. I don’t get to just sit on the phone sobbing to my mom all day because I still have things to do. I don’t get to abandon nursing school after working so damn hard to get to this point simply because now we have an added expense that we weren’t planning on. I don’t get to just throw my 894th attempt at a successful Whole30 out the window and face dive into the chocolate chips on the counter. Even though trust me, I’ve thought about it. It means that I take a minute to get all of the tears and feels out, put my big girl panties on, & re-evaluate so that I can move forward. And probably fix my mascara. It means choosing joy in the midst of wanting to choose all of the wine and chocolate.
Yeah, of course it sucks when these kinds of things happen to us. Especially, especially when it wasn’t part of our beautifully thought out plan. And especially when money is involved. Am I right, or am I right? But what I realized is that it isn’t about what happens to us but rather how we handle what is thrown at us. How are you going to handle when life throws you your next curve ball out of left field? Are you going to abandon ship on all of your plans and goals? Or are you going to take a minute, figure it out, and push through the hard stuff while not losing sight of your goals? Are you going to choose to wallow in a sea of chocolate or are you going to choose joy and move forward? This week has been such a good reminder for me to keep life in perspective & keep choosing my emotions rather than letting them choose me.
Looks like I might be getting a minivan for my 32nd birthday after all.