Iced Soy Latte With a Smiley Face
Someone needs to make me a shirt that says, “Stop judging me for giving my kids cake pops to keep them entertained for .2 seconds so that I can get in and out of Target in one piece.” And another that says, “Please send wine.” It. Was. A. Day.
Mom of the year over here picked up my girls from daycare early today so that I could take them to see the doctor. I am notorious for taking my kids in too early and always seem to come home with the “it’s viral-drink fluids-get rest” routine. In fact, I joke that the reason I’m trying to get into nursing school is so that I can stop taking my kids in every time they start to get the slightest sniffle. So, this time I waited. And waited some more. About two weeks of nasty coughs later I finally decided to take them in. The verdict? Pneumonia & an ear infection for one and a double ear infection and sinus infection causing pink eye for the other. Awesome. I knew as soon as I heard the words “antibiotics” all I could think about was that I didn’t bring the dang snacks. My kids are going to meltdown if we have to walk through Target waiting for prescriptions to be ready without snacks. And also the fact that I rudely interrupted them from their naps at daycare to bring them here so they are already ultra crabs. This is going to be great.
By the time we got to Target my oldest had gone through two wardrobe changes and was in her second dress of the day. Naturally she had wore one to the actual appointment and changed into a second dress the minute I unbuckled her car seat. A friend had given me those two dresses for her at work today and of course I left them right where she could see them. That was my first mistake. I am enabling her to be a diva. We find one of those giant two seat-er car seats and my youngest sits in the actual cart while miss diva stands and holds onto the bar as if the cart is her personal chariot. Who are we kidding – it totally is. We head over to Starbucks and thankfully there are two pink cake pops and two pink over priced organic applesauce pouches. Mom win. I’ll take them all. My oldest starts yelling that my youngest can’t have a cake pop or applesauce and keeps saying that they are all hers. There is no reasoning with a toddler who thinks all of the worlds cake pops belong to her. I then ask for my coffee and two ice waters because Lord only knows they cannot share. We get to the end of the counter and my iced soy latte came with a smiley face. Just what I needed. Some older woman walks over and tells me that the girls will be “wired with all of that cake and juice.” Pretty sure she was referring to the applesauce my oldest was devouring but who knows. Yeah, I know they will be. But do you realize that it is physically impossible to get through Target without snacks? And that I totally wasn’t planning on this excursion? I am buying myself about 1 minute and 32 seconds to get everything I need from the Pharmacy and get home. I have high expectations.
Off we go to the Pharmacy and thank goodness nobody is in line. We pay and step over to the consultation area and my little diva hops off her chariot and picks up a bottle of Melatonin gummies for adults. Instantly she starts yelling, “Mama open! Mama I want this. Mama this is mine. Mama open please!” I turn around, while simultaneously listening to the instructions from the Pharmacist, and say “No you do not need adult Melatonin put that back! Look here I got you some kids probiotics instead.” As if she really understood or cares. But the probiotic box was colorful so I was hoping that would distract her. It did for just a few seconds.
Medications for 3 out of the 5 family members in tow and I try to bee line it to the baby section for some Pedialyte. Tossed a bottle in the cart when I hear, “Mama! Toys! Let’s go look at the toys!” My first thought was when in the world did you get old enough to ask to go look at toys?! And my second was why Target… why do you have to put the dang toys right in the middle of where I need to go. I know exactly why. We stood amongst Anna and Elsa and Moana before I insisted that we go pick up some groceries. My oldest was holding a Frozen microphone that plays “Let It Go” and was singing along. It was kind of adorable. Because I was running out of patience and I knew I only had about 2 more seconds before everyone would start melting down I threw the microphone in the cart and off we went singing “Let It Go” through the frozen pizza section at Target. That ladies and gentlemen is why the toys section is strategically placed where it is because parents just don’t want to argue and they are in a hurry so in order to avoid a public meltdown they just buy all of the toys. All of them.
Get to the checkout and I can tell that we are seconds away from losing it. My oldest had also confiscated some Frozen headbands that she would not let out of her grip. Trying to explain to her that she could have them back after we paid was more than useless. Thankfully I scanned everything in the self check out (thank you Jesus for those) as fast as I could and we barely made it out of there without any major meltdowns.
Bringing a sick toddler and preschooler to the doctor or Target by yourself is anything but easy. Especially with no snacks. And especially when you woke them up from a nap to go. I’m sure the woman at Starbucks had no idea that the little smiley face she put on my coffee would make my day as much as it actually did. It reminded me that even though I was feeling and looking like a hot mess that it is all going to be all right. My kids are going to scream or yell at the most inopportune time, I’m going to give them cake pops in order to get a few minutes of sanity, and I’m going to let my toddler wear five dresses in one day if that means she actually cooperates. And it’s all going to be okay. Everyone has hot mess days even if we all don’t have them on the same day.