Mama Wears Her Coffee | Anything Is Possible in January
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Anything Is Possible in January

I’m at little late to the party, but I love January.

I love a fresh beginning, new goals, and a clean slate. Anything and everything somehow seems possible in January. Anything.

This January I decided to take a semester off of school to focus on me. It is no secret that postpartum life with our second baby has been anything but easy for me. I should have known that having two babies in about two years would present all kinds of body image issues, but like most things in life, I was naively optimistic and clueless. Before we got pregnant with our second I remember friends asking me if I wanted to get pregnant since I was working so hard to get back to my pre-marriage body. Of course! I mean, I’d rather get pregnant now that I am at the healthiest I’ve been in awhile rather than when I was unhealthy. I dealt with borderline high blood pressure with our first and did not want to go through that again.

And just like that we were pregnant with baby number two!

Thankfully my pregnancy with our second was flawless and high blood pressure wasn’t even on the radar. The whole time I was pregnant with our second I just couldn’t wait to have her and start eating healthy and working out again. I totally abandoned our clean eating mentality and started eating all of the processed foods. All. Of. Them. I barely cooked anymore and everything I did make seemed to come from a box. At every appointment I would watch the scale inch higher and higher all while telling myself that it was okay because as soon as at the baby came I’d get back to working hard.

We are having a baby! Easiest labor + delivery ever.

Except I didn’t.

Not only did I have an infant to take care of but I also had a toddler. A sweet, sassy, stubborn, into literally everything, toddler. Cue a large unfamiliar dose of anxiety and zero energy to do anything besides lay around in my yoga pants while trying to make sure that the needs of my family were being met. And by being met I mean barely getting met. As in my husband had to take over a lot of things. I didn’t put on real clothes. I didn’t put on make up. I didn’t even shower more than maybe twice a week. The only time we seemed to leave the house was to take our oldest to school. This only compounded all of my negative body image issues and made it almost paralyzing. It was too much. I felt in over my head. I didn’t recognize myself.

Fast forward almost a year, a huge move, a job change, and I am finally ready to tackle this body image nonsense head on. I’ve never struggled with body image or being unhealthy as much as I have this past year. Ever. I mean, back in high school I was ridiculous & like every other 16 year old girl thought that I was “ginormous”… I was wearing size 5 jeans and weighed maybe 130 pounds. Yeah, so huge. Back then I had soccer + cheerleading to keep me busy plus I actually liked running after school – for fun. What I wouldn’t give to go back to those glory days. [enter dramatic nostalgic music here]

Having a baby takes a toll on our bodies, but it isn’t an excuse to stay unhealthy. On Christmas I had a breakdown and ended up sobbing to my husband because nothing that I brought to my parents to wear either fit or looked nice. Nothing. I knew in that moment that something had to change. We decided to do a Whole30 in January and to my surprise my husband was on board. Hallelujah I got my Christmas miracle. The only time I have successfully completed a Whole30 was in July of 2015. From there I continued eating real food and exercising and felt a-m-a-z-i-n-g. I knew that if I was going to get my head in the game I had to do another Whole30. The reason why I love Whole30 is because it resets everything. I no longer have sugar cravings. I have more focus and clarity. My skin is clearer. I sleep a million times better. I don’t get hormonal and crabby as often. And I can fit in clothes that I haven’t been able to wear in a long time. I get a little self confidence back one day at a time. I’m proud to say that we are on day 23 of this Whole30 and I am more than confident that I will be able to successfully complete this one. It feels so good to be focusing on getting healthy again. This just goes to prove that anything is possible in January.

Left was 2 years ago when I was feeling my best… right was at Christmas 2017.

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