Dreams. The Time Will Pass Anyway.
Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway. – Earl Nightingale
If it were actually possible to be in love with a quote, I would be head over heels in love with this one. In fact, sometimes I find myself saying this out loud while sitting in the car (probably doing my make up because that seems to be my favorite place for applying make up) or even scribbling it down on a random piece of paper. Usually, though, my version goes something like, “Jess calm the F down! Keep going. You can do it! The weeks are going to go by anyway might as well be doing something with them!” And other times it’s more like, “What the H were you thinking? Why didn’t you change majors your sophomore year when you first wanted to? Why were you such a pansy? Do you realize you could have been done by now?” But seriously though, what was I thinking? Here’s to all of us who have degrees that we aren’t even using and who are now going back to school to really pursue our dreams. If I could hand you a glass of wine & cheers you right now, I would.
My dream? To be a nurse. More specifically, a nurse working at my favorite children’s hospital with kids that have special needs. And if I’m feeling really ballsy, long term I’d love to someday be a nurse practitioner (if I’m feeling brave). Unfortunately, no matter how hard I try, I can’t make that happen with my degree in Children and Family Ministry (yeah, you saw that right… ministry + F + wine all in the same post). Time for this chick to go back to school. When my husband and I got married I started taking pre-req’s for nursing programs. That, my friends, was four years ago. Four. In those four years I have taken just one class at a time, had two babies, took a few semesters off, and went back and forth between wanting to pursue a masters degree or continue at the community college. Needless to say, it starts to feel like I am never actually going to make it to nursing school. Like it is literally some imaginary, unattainable object off in the distance. I might as well just major in nursing pre’req’s because I’d pretty much rock those like a boss. Somedays I start to feel incredibly defeated knowing how long I have been taking these classes and yet feeling like I am getting absolutely nowhere.
Oh, and it gets better. Not only do I feel like I’m a freaking hamster in a wheel but I am also, well, 30. Yeah, I have grey hair. So here I am, the old 30 year old, sitting in all of these classes with people that are wonderful but who are much younger than me. Do they even realize how lucky they are to be able to do just school + work and not have to juggle husbands and kids, too? What on earth was I doing during my five years getting my first degree? I worked and had school. That was it! I could have studied so much more than I did with all of that time on my hands. But on a more serious note, somedays I do feel embarrassed & down on myself for being the 30 year old in the classroom. Especially when I’m not even in a nursing program yet and have been taking classes for what feels like forever. Shouldn’t I be done with this by now?
It’s in moments like these that I have to remind myself that I am pursing my dream. I. Am. Pursing. My. Dream. Not everyone can say that. While it may feel like it is taking forever to get there, the time is going to keep passing by whether I am in school or not. I might as well be working my way ever so slowly towards my end goal. I need to stop getting into the comparison trap where I think about where I could be had I done this 10 years ago & compare myself to all of my friends who are already there. It is okay. I am okay. It’s going to be okay. One day at a time. It’s my story, not theirs. I just need to learn to slow down and enjoy the journey. The long, but totally worth it in the end, journey.
I am so going to party like its 1999 when I finally get accepted into a program. Just saying.
What is one of your biggest dreams? What are you doing to make that dream a reality? I’d love to hear it!